50 Ways to make Neji Rip Your Head Off
by sentbyangels13
Summary: Neji hates you enough. Why don't you push it some more? Here are 50 ways how.
1. The Warm Up

50 Ways to make Neji Rip Your Head Off by sentbyangels13

1. Draw glasses on his face with permanent marker in the middle of the night.

2. Make his breakfast. When he starts to eat it, come up behind him, shove his head in it and say " Glad you like it!"

3. In the middle of the night, sit on his stomach and say, " Hey, Neji. Kakashi is here and he says he has your moms money from last night."

4. Put a knock-out pill in his drink, dip him in tar and feathers, and hang him upside-down at a 5-year-olds birthday party. When he wakes up, shout " Alright, everyone! It's piniata time!"

5. Strap him to a chair and make him watch a Titanic marathon.

6. Tell Rock Lee it's youthful to play with his hair all the time.

7. Show Tenten butt naked photographs of him as a baby.

8. Tell him " I know your little secret and I will tell everyone unless you go spandex shopping with Gai and Lee for a week."

9. After a week, tell him you were kidding and that he looked good in green spandex jumpsuits.

10. Lock him and Michel Jackson in a closet together.

11. Place bets on who will die of AIDs first.

12. Invite the Kool aid man to stay over for a month.

13. Kill him in Neji's bed the following night.

14. Use a justu to make Neji's manlyhood smaller.

15. Tell Tenten.

16. Drop a watermelon on his head from the roof and yell " My prayers have been awnsered!"

17. Replace his shampoo with honey. ( a classic)

18. When he's in the shower, throw a cat over the top. Wait for the sscreams.

19. Sell his house on e-bay, bring home a box and ask " Guess where you're living now?"

20. Call Gai and tell him that Neji will be late for the meeting because he is busy writing a youthful love poem about Tenten.

21. Call him " Boo-Boo"

22. Make Akamaru pee in his shoes.

23. Replace his spray-on deorderent with red spray paint.

24. Live.

25. While he takes a shower, spread crisco all over his bathroom floor.

Ok. I need funny ideas or else I can't finish. I am good at pissing off people but still I get writer's block.


	2. The Finishing Blow

50 Ways to make Neji Rip Your Head Off

Chapter Two.

I'd like to thank all the people who gave me ideas, hc, BandNerdsUnite, Riiiceballe, lilquack, Tahnaquille, Bloodstainedmoon, Yachiru-chan, Sakura Sama, Davondarkblade, and broken0dream. Thank you. Your ideas will be used in this addition.

26. Use a justu to turn him into a girl for a month.

27. When he says something to you ask "Why?" Continue to ask.

28. Take all his underwear with his name on it in to the girls locker room.

29. Knock on his door in the middle of the night and run. Repeat.

30. Sing "It's A Small World." When ever he walks by.

31. Give him a glass of "freshly squeezed orange juice." Run away before he relizies it's raw eggs.

32. When he falls asleep, pry open his eyelids and ask " Are you awake yet?"

33. Replace his matress with one filled with sharp rocks.

34. Hide all the food and then cook one of his shoes, a skunks tail, and an old onion. Force feed him.

35. When he goes on his next mission, ask him "Are we there yet?" every five minutes.

36. When he takes a shower, fill the room with mouse traps and lock the door. Listen for the screams.

37. Ask Tenten if she thinks Neji is gay.

38. Cut his hair of while he sleeps.

39. Make Gai go on vacation and tell Naruto he is in charge.

40. Ask him why his hair beats yours in a best hair contest.

41. Tell him he's the prettiest girl you have ever seen.

42. Tell him he looks like your grandpa on drugs.

43. Take all his clothes and replace them with dresses.

44. Everytime he walks in a room, throw a suprise party.

45. When a guy walks by, hug him tightly and shout " HE'S MINE!"

46. Put bleach in his shampoo.

47. Say " Your byukan can see through trees but can it see why kids love Cinnamin Toast Crunch?"

48. Get him drunk, make him make-out with Gai and Lee at the same time, take a picture, and post it on the internet.

49. Attack him with a nail gun and tell him that Hinata told you to do it.

50. Dye his hair purple and shave it off. When he asks you what happened, tell him that you made a mistake and that purple was not his color.

Neji's Reaction.

" What the hell have you been praying for!" He yells at you on the roof. Sasuke walks by Neji and stares at his fancy yellow dress. " Hey little girl, are you lost?" He asks. " NEJI! YOU'RE LATE FOR A TEAM MEETING!" Yelled Naruto. " Oh and I saw your picture on the internet last night. If those were girls then I would have gotten a boner." Sick thoughts raced trough everyones heads.


End file.
